How To Write Thoughtful Kudos To People You Value
Think about the last time you received kudos from someone you admire. Remember that specific feeling? The sweet sensation that is appreciation? Remember how much it meant to you? To not just feel seen but featured? To be held in esteem by someone you, too, hold in high regard?
Getting kudos from someone feels good. It’s as simple as that. And it can feel just as good to give kudos, too. It’s human nature to crave this validation—going back to Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs—yet it’s important to be aware that everyone has a different relationship with validation.
Even those of us who get uncomfortable with attention (hi, it’s me!) deserve to be seen, but the intensity and location of the spotlight might look different. In the rush of trying to get the words out, people often forget that while words matter, how you deliver those words matters too—sometimes even more.
This writing advice isn’t going to tell you what words to write because, for kudos to really mean something, it must come from you. Rather, this guidance is about understanding your audience so that, when you go to write, the message is well received and feels good to hear or read.
8 Ways To Deliver Thoughtful Recognition
If you value someone, you’ll value how they want to be seen by you. Whether you’re writing for a colleague or a close friend, below are eight ways to deliver thoughtful recognition.
The All-Hands Meeting. For those who enjoy the spotlight and find value in others understanding how they bring value to the organization. (Think of the people who love a good birthday party in the office and are active members of ERG groups.)
The Team Meeting. For those who, too, value others understanding how they bring value but get more out of receiving recognition in a team setting. (Think of team mentors or those who consistently go above and beyond to support other team members.)
The Internal Newsletter. For those company champions who are active in internal comms and less likely to enjoy being put on the spot in person. (Think of those who love to read the company news and always forward internal newsletters to say congrats.)
The Slack Shoutout. For those who are a bit shy about getting kudos publically and feel more comfortable with recognition being casual and fleeting. (Think of those who perhaps are less likely to speak up unless prompted—but always nail it when given the platform.)
The One-on-One Email. For those who value reading recognition versus hearing it out loud. (Think of those who you know have an inbox folder for recognition or always come to their annual review with examples of other emails.) (Think too of hardworking friends who may not have time for a phone call right now but you know will be on email.)
The Handwritten Note. For those you have a more personal relationship with and will treasure physical recognition from you. (Think: work bestie, boss’s anniversary, childhood friend going through a tough time, a partner who’s been doing all of the things lately, etc.)
The Social Post. For employees active on the social who love a good employee shoutout and for friends who are all about hyping up and being hyped up and would love a good re-post. (Think of those friends who always send you motivational posts and employees who are always re-posting company content.)
The Group Dinner. For friends, partners, and family who love recognition in good company. Give a sweet cheers (but keep it short for those who don’t love attention.) Think: who doesn’t hype themselves up that needs a good pick-me-up?
wellness check
Come on, get happy because giving kudos is good for your well-being. A 2020 study found that over nine in ten employees (91%!) believe that giving recognition boosts happiness. What a lovely way to support your mental health and someone else’s, right?
What Thoughtful Recognition Looks Like
I felt helpless during lockdown in 2020 and knew many (if not all) of my friends did too. Without being able to see each other (and, tbh very little to do as I had also lost a client at this time), I sat down for a few hours and wrote all my closest friends a letter of appreciation, including what I valued about them and our friendship.
I remember the influx of messages once my friends—all stuck at home—got a dose of joy delivered in their mailbox. Yes, it would’ve been easier to post photos on Instagram or send a text, but the moment called for handwritten and hand-delivered kudos (even if I couldn't deliver it).
Moving Forward, Thoughtfully
Kudos to you for reading this far! I know you’re busy, and it means a lot to me that you’ve found this advice helpful enough to spend your valuable time engaging with it. As a final tip for coming all the way here, I encourage you to pre-schedule your kudos. Schedule an hour every quarter on your calendar (do it now for extra credit) to write down who you want to recognize and their preferred delivery method from the list above.
This makes it far easier to remember, holds you accountable to appreciation, and gives you an hour to look forward consistently, where you get to recognize the valuable people in your life. Sounds quite nice :)
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